Well...I choose to trust. I know God has promised me healing. He spoke so clear and so loud into my life. My legs have been less than cooperative. Starting last Wednesday when I was really tired my legs started being goofy again. Once I rested they were fine and continued to be great throughout the day. Of course fear sets in. With fear, doubt. My husband in his infinite wisdom reminded me it isn't faith without some doubt. Otherwise why would you have to trust?
FAITH = Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him!
God told me not to fear. I confessed my fears and sought solace with God. I thought if I don't have enough faith, would lose my healing? Is my faith strong enough to hold onto my healing? This is why I see a Godly counselor! She assured me God is not vengeful and He always desires what is best for me. She reminded me that it really has nothing to do with me. God chooses what He does for His purposes and for His glory.
I enjoyed walking so freely for almost 2 full weeks. I have not enjoyed such a luxury in over six months! Freedom in movement, a taste of heaven! They say God never gives you more than you can handle and I was at a breaking point. I needed that gift so desperately, and God gave it to me. He stopped the progression of the disease until I was able to get in and see a neurologist who really cares.
Sunday February 14th, all my symptoms came back full force and have not let up. By the grace of God I was out with my sisters at the time. They kept me laughing and encouraged me to press on. They both went with me to my doctors appointment on Monday providing the emotional support I needed. The doctor asked a lot of questions, and is curious about a genetic link. They were there to help fill in the blanks.
Tim is gone on a missions trip this week. How come he is always away when this crazy stuff happens? I guess God knows we need to process this all apart from each other before we can come back and process together.
One of my favorite worship songs is Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Just like Job, the song says He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
I choose to worship. I choose to trust. The scripture God gave me the night before last was Psalm 31:15 " My future is in Your hands"
Joy, I am a friend of a friend of yours and was asked this morning to join many others in prayer for your "answers" (4/11/12). Julie shared your blog with us and you are so real and vulnerable and faithful - what a testimony. I just wanted to share another acronym for faith (My team name in my business is F.A.I.T.H.) Forsaking All I Trust Him...forsaking all - that can be really hard, but totally freeing. Praying for you Joy! Rest in HIM, His peace be yours...forsaking all!
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